Intro Wedding yesterday of Mark & Sally – so a good weekend to talk about marriage. That’s exactly what Jesus did when he was asked about divorce.

We live at a time when many couples live together, some might call it trial marriages, it is also a time when many of those getting married do so in the registry office or at another venue.

There are few of us who within our own family or extended family do not have those who have gone through or who are going through a divorce. So this is very much a live issue. It is also one, which needs careful exploration.

1. Jesus believes in marriage Mat 19.4-6, Gen 1.26-28, 2.18, 24-25

Jesus goes back to the beginning. He clarifies that Marriage is God’s Idea.

It’s not a human invention.

A creation ordinance – ie for Christian and for those who are not Christians.

Just as we have been created in the image of God, even though that image has been tarnished by sin, so marriage when carefully considered is the bringing together of a man and a woman by God.

It involves a leaving, which often means physical ie living in their own accommodation, emotional – recognising that prime emotional sustenance and support comes from one another, sexual as expressed in the sexual intercourse which is the physical demonstration of the man and woman giving themselves to one another in love.

The two become one, which is a bit of a mystery but is about two individuals learning to live together. Retaining their individuality yet also becoming one person – recognising life involves the two of them.

It is from this union as Gen 1 reminds us that children often follow. That is not to say a marriage relationship without children is incomplete but rather to say that this is a natural follow on.

Jesus adds that as God has joined them together that is not to be tampered with v6 and no person is to break that bond.

So marriage is a lifelong union of one man to one woman.

 

This has implications for the 21st Century.

i. Sexual Partners. Love is more than sex, and whilst technology provides good contraceptives, that does not mean it is a licence for multiple partners. Making love, sexual intercourse is intended as God’s wedding present a unique gift that is intended for a unique relationship.

This obviously flies in the face of practice today - but this has surely made sex one of today's gods. We live in a town, which has high numbers of teenage pregnancies, where each year many abortions take place.

ii. Virginity is something to be valued not looked down upon. Keeping oneself sexually until marriage.

The Bible recognises the power of love and sexual attraction and Paul encourages those who find the sexual pressures too great to get married 1 Cor 7.9, better to be married than burn with passion.

iii. Marriage is important for the wellbeing of human society, And as Church we need to highlight its value.

In today’s world the number of people who remain virgins at their time of marriage is rapidly diminishing.

From a biblical perspective sexual sin, like many things is still sin. For example, every human being with the exception of Jesus at some time in their life is selfish. The fact that we all are doesn’t make it right. So, where there is sin of whatever nature, there is the need to seek God’s forgiveness and make a fresh start seeking to live for him.

 

2. So what about Divorce See also Deut 24.1-4,

The question that the Pharisees asked Jesus centred upon when divorce was permissible? Deut 24 the key passage and the phrase "something indecent" was the issue.

Was it for a sexual offence*, or was it for any reason, burning the dinner, not looking as beautiful as another woman.

* (Adultery was punishable by death Deut 22.21, Lev 20.10)

There were two rabbinical Schools – Shammai – argued the words meant sexual immorality, Hillel argued that it referred to anything that a wife did that was disliked.

Mark 10.11-12 speaks of either the man or the woman divorcing and marrying another and says that is adultery.

Luke 16.18 says whoever divorces his wife commits adultery, and this is so if the man marries a woman divorced from her husband.

Behind these words of Jesus is the fact that God intends marriage to be for life. Yet marriage is not meant to be like a life sentence rather the unique gift of being able to share your life fully with another.

1. God hates divorce Malachi 2.16

Significantly the context here refers to " the wife of your youth" v14, 15,

Proverbs 5.18 says " and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth".

Whilst this is speaking to men, we need to recognise that the bible is a growing picture of God's truth to us. We live at a time when for both men and women they can tire of one another. It can be viewed almost as a consumable thing.

God hates divorce, when he brings a man and woman together in marriage his intention is for life and that physical death should be the only thing that threatens this. So if a couple wants to divorce it needs to be the last resort and not the first. Within Western society marriage is about loving and then marrying. Other societies have a different mentality and would believe you learn to love. Love is both emotion and will. It is having that loving feeling, but it is also the will saying "I love my partner and I am committed to them".

 

2. Divorce can happen

From Mat 19.9 divorce is allowed in the case of marital unfaithfulness. It does not mean the marriage must end. In fact healing and reconciliation are the ideal, although where this has been the result of a breach of trust this is no easy thing.

Paul in 1 Cor 7 also allows for divorce when an unbelieving partner wants to leave 1 Cor 715.

3. Remarriage can happen.

Marriage is a lifelong union, when death has occurred a person is free to marry. Paul writing to widows says about this but to those who are Christians he emphasises that a Christian must marry a christian (not just any Christian but one who is compatible in other ways also).

What of the person who has experienced difficulties in marriage. This is a tough issue, but I understand that the hardness of hearts that Jesus refers to in Matt 19.8 reveals the difficulties that can happen. Where such hardness is expressed ie such cases where violence is used, or in cases of desertion then I believe remarriage is permissible.

One question that is vexing is how does all this tie in with the grace of God.

Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. So many who go through such experiences can grapple with guilt. What of forgiveness? Where there is godly sorrow and a willingness to change where this is possible then the Bible speaks of forgiveness 1 John 1.

I also believe that with forgiveness there can be fresh opportunities but we must watch the prevailing wind of culture which says that happiness is the prime goal, where within our own nation divorce is all too commonplace.

We give thanks for the changing status of women where women are not so often dependent upon their husbands for their livelihoods, which in the past has entrapped individuals

My desire is to see current trends reversed. I suspect it will need God to bring a spiritual awakening to this nation where as many more people discover Jesus, then God's purposes and principles can determine our lifestyles. It is tough living in a world where many believe that we live on this planet by chance. If that is your mindset then in the light of that does marriage have a place? You could or may have chanced it. If on the other hand you are created by God, and he has had a hand in the choice of your life partner then you have resources available to you that you may not have considered.